A Forest Keeps Her Secrets

The leader of the tribe, a trim, muscular man who was decked out in full hunter orange and leather came charging up to the entrance of the woodforest weight loss clinic like a bull in a China shop. His gleaming body was covered from top to bottom in frost, his dark chest and jawline shouting for the attention of anyone who might be interested in losing weight in these freezing winter months. His thick lips that matched his snowy white teeth radiated with the healthy lightness he exuded, his energetic stride was not one of those clumsy gait of a hippie, but instead quite solid, his height was proportionate, his hair was neat and well groomed, and his physique glowed with health and vigor. His thinning hair line was accentuated by his ever smiling face. He was a natural leader, an alpha male who commanded his own flock.

As he approached the clinic, he stopped and looked at the large advertisement board which announced: "Welcome to the Woodforest Weight Loss Clinic". He wondered why there were only half a dozen people inside and wondered how he could find his way through the snow to the office. Then he saw the board's menu. There were only five meals a day for the men and women and one snack a day for the children. He felt starving and wanted to find something to eat. So he went up to the receptionist and asked for a menu, she pointed to a menu which had been posted on the wall just moments before he walked in.

The old man, still in that buffalo wing nutrition guide he had bought the day before, showed the receptionist his identification and the clinic manager and asked her if he could try out the buffet lunch. She looked over at him and said, "Mr. Jones, you are not fit to work here. We will not allow you to join us. Our diets are very strict and we do not serve fatty or sugary foods. You would not last two minutes on our diet plan."

Mr. Jones was dumbfounded, how could this be possible? He told the receptionist that he understood the rules of the clinic, all he was trying to do was make sure he ate fewer calories than what he usually consume. He explained to her that he bought the woodforest weight loss clinic's meal replacement program and asked her to review it with him. She told him she would look it over and return to advise him.

Two days later, he received his dreaded response from the receptionist, "Mr. Jones, please leave immediately. The lady's policy prohibits anyone but dieters from working here. If you have an issue with a customer, it is our job to handle it as quickly as possible and terminate them. You do not belong here."

Mr. Jones was dumbfounded. How could something this outrageous be legal in a clinic of this size? Fortunately for us, someone had talked to the FDA about their investigation into the woodforest weight loss clinic's practices. The FDA sent them a letter saying that they had found such unlawful conduct took place. The investigation turned up several incidents where patients had been given diet pills instead of the intended meal replacement products.

The FDA notified the owner of the woodforest weight loss clinic of their findings, and he agreed to make changes to his operation. For instance, he would no longer be advertising his business to clients at breakfast or lunch. He would also not give out diet flyers to his clients. Clients would have to ask to receive them, and they would have to sign a waiver acknowledging that they understand that the diet pills are not part of the meal replacement program. All diet plans on the market today are approved by the FDA, and so these things are considered safe to use by anyone who wants to lose weight, regardless of health conditions.

Finally, I had one more question. Why hadn't Jones signed up for my keto diet plan? I had heard so many good things about it, especially since it allows you to eat real foods, without having to starve yourself. The people at the woodforest weight loss clinic knew me well enough to realize that my interest in losing pounds was more about losing fat than keeping my diet as spotlessly clean as possible. So even if this particular clinic didn't make me lose weight, it did help me learn about how to live a healthier life overall. And in the end, those few extra pounds that I managed to shed brought me so much happiness that I felt I owed it to myself to tell my story to every person who might be considering trying a new diet like this.